In any case, here I am on this partly cloudy day thanking all of you for your gifts of love, support, and caring messages on this blog, on Facebook, and in the mail. I have tried to keep up with the individual thanks but there have been hundreds and I am now doing a group thank for all of you whom I did not/could not get to, one-on-one. I cannot tell you how much you have cheered and moved me with your hugs. I return them, of course.
Last week, the house was full of our children and grands,friends, relatives from near and far, food, drink, and laughter. What else could we do when someone walked in, shook my brother's hand and said "so sorry to meet you."?? Or when I picked up the phone after the funeral, thinking it was a condolence phone call and a salesman wanted to speak to my husband about his financial needs. Afterwards, I was thinking of comeback lines. Laughter. Black humor, indeed - but a good counterpoint to the grief. THAT is what sitting shiva is about.
The official period of mourning ended Friday afternoon and my cousin left this morning. So here I am -- back to real life and living alone, which I have never done, ever. I had to take the garbage and the tons of recycling out to the curb tonight: the young man next door saw me and offered a hand with the bags, which I accepted. I barely know him but he offered to help with the cardboard and paper next week.
Tomorrow, the next leg of the journey begins.
I've always lived my life without a roadmap - just as I work without knowing in advance what the end result will be. That might have to change a teeny bit, since I have to do a little planning ahead if I want people to do things with.
Things like going to the movies, which I refuse to do alone. My cousin and I went to see the new Woody Allen movie last night and every single show was sold out. SOLD OUT!! So now I either find somebody else who wants to see it or wait till it comes out on DVD. Hmmm.
Eating out -- something else I don't enjoy doing alone. Meals are social events. No more "let's go out for dinner tonight" on the spur of the moment. People have their own lives. Lunch out with a friend is easier and that's ok,too.
I also have plenty to look forward to.
- I'm teaching Soy Wax Batik and Sophisticated Screen Printing (with dyes) in Grand Junction, Colorado July 7-10 at Fabric Arts Studio. There may even be couple of spots left.
- Am excited about the launch of my new book in November and I'll be at Market in October to talk about it!
If you want to pre-order a signed copy, go to the Rayna's New Book page at the top of the blog.
For now, I'm turning in early so I can start my new life tomorrow.